I Looked Into It!

As a post-finals exam reward, I’m blogging.

But first the exam. I studied. I really did. I even memorized all the acronyms and faithfully learned Dijkstra’s algorithm for computing the shortest path of a packet transmission from one node to another. I thought I had it all in the bag. I wasn’t aiming for perfect, I just wanted tres. And wow, did I zip through the 100-item exam. But the very last question (worth 20 points) drained the blood from my face.

I was supposed to name at least 20 reserved TCP ports, and identify the application reserved for each. If the port number and application didn’t match, wrong. Oh lord. At that very moment, I felt completely and utterly mortal. I realized I was nearer to death than I was to birth, and my once-famous photographic memory is now only capable of sad sepias. Honestly I never ever anticipated that 20% of the exam will come from that miniscule table tucked away in one corner of one page. One page! And the coverage was around 120 pages. So I did what was proper. I left the item blank, submitted my paper and left the room. So what if I spent only 45 minutes of the allotted three hours? Even if I stayed until the very end, nothing approaching a correct answer would have flowed from my pen. Something approaching tears, baka pa.

But, nothing will dampen my spirits for maybe the next three or four weeks. All because of Eugene Domingo and Kimmy Dora. I had seizures inside the cinema. Like always my laughter was maniacal and prompted my seatmates to the left and right (I was watching alone) to change seats. But what were we watching this movie for, anyway? Eh sa hindi ko talaga mapigilan.

For a good part of the movie I was laughing at us who were trained like Dora by DingDong to say these three golden nuggets of wisdom when we need to say something but don’t know exactly what to say:

1. I’ll look into it.
2. I’ll give you an update.
3. I’ll get back to you on that.

Those very same words. For two weeks now I simply couldn’t keep a straight face in the office. Problem talaga because I say these things by force of habit. And even if I say “I’ll keep you posted,” or “I’ll have an answer for you within the day,” or some other similar cultural necessity (because we all need to speak the language and grease the wheels of progress nga naman) wa epek pa din. Specially when I contemplate appending najejebs to any of these. I still blush a deep red from controlling the urge to go epileptic. A deep purplish red, because the experience is very similar to having an unwanted and embarassing erection.

Sige na nga lang. This too, like all agonies, shall pass. Wag lang akong itapon sa malayo, apak-apakan at paluin ng tsinelas.