The Unbearable Heaviness of Upward Mobility

It all started with knees.

One fine day, I joined the fire drill in RCBC Plaza. This drill involved walking all the way down to the ground level from the 20-something floor where our office is.

All the people half my age could hardly stand up, knees shaking, when we got to the bottom. I, on the other hand, carless for the greater part of of my adult life and walking daily from Pasay Road to Ayala/Buendia in less than 20 minutes without sunblock or shame fared better than all of them. No hint of jellyness, except for the niggling pain of sports injuries resurrected by vigorous exertion.

So the plan was set. When it's time to buy my own pad I'll go for a walkup one. One without elevators so I won't have an option to cheat.


And I found one! And I bought it, sort of. Paid a lump sum as equity so that my PAGIBIG loan for the balance will fall into the correct interest rate bracket. Happy happy me? Well, yes, until the itch to stitch bit.

I started imagining partitions and cabinets and range hoods and tiles. Tiles! They had to be 60cm x 60cm diagonally set because conventional interior decor wisdom has it that this makes a small place look a lot bigger.

Budget here, budget there. Kasya! I would only need roughly 90 pieces for the whole place. Plus consumables like grout and tile bonding agent of around 20 bags weighing 25 kilos per bag.

Choosing which tile design best reflected my personality was pure joy. I was willing to pay for top of the line Spanish tiles which were selling at 50% off. Heaven. Of course my common sense kicked in right away and I was soon down to two choices. Wood or leather. I was so amazed that ceramic tiles could actually look so close. Leather won. Ramos Cuero. I carefully chose the grout color to match. Paid for everything. Arranged for delivery. I was drooling. I just needed those tiles to be set and I could do anything with the place! Frosted glass on partitions and doors, cabinets of a lighter tone, etc etc.

Two days later, my tiles came crashing down on the dream. Not literally. To my horror, I soon found out (stupid me I didn't do due diligence) that most construction stuff suppliers, appliance dealers, and all other stores that need sweaty muscular young men to deliver stuff DO NOT deliver beyond ground level. And my condo-condohan has this policy of kanya-kanyang bitbit. Even if they were contracted to install my tiles, I had to find a way to haul everything up. Eeeek! 90 super heavy tiles. I could hardly even budge a pack of four, let alone lift it. 20 bags weighing 25 kilos each of tile bonding adhesive! What did I get myself into?

I mean, I wanted daily exercise so I chose the topmost fifth floor unit of that walk-up mid-priced condo in the suburban south. Honest. But not naman that I would consume the daily calorie quota intended for a year in one day only. Wag naman. I'm not a Darna person, and will never be even if I swallow stones and sand and gravel.

And since aminado naman talaga ako that I can't do a Darna with those tiles, I did a Valentina na lang. I used the potent combination of fear and charm to get the supplier to haul everything up. "I will return everything! You pay me back!" And then of course I ambushed the delivery boys and flirted with them. [According to reliable sources boys I flirt with actually have sleepless nights for several weeks, scary kase the way I stare like I'll eat them alive or something tapos di ko naman pala itutuloy eh namutla na nga sila sa pinaghalong libog at kaba, 'chos]. Plus, of course, I paid them handsomely. Mas correct, I paid the handsome one. Meaning, sa kanya ko inabot yung pasasalamat.

So there, problem solved. For now.

I dread the day when I have to do this all over again for the ref, the aircon, etc. etc. It's not easy dealing with toned sweaty young men who use their muscles to earn an honest buck. There's always the temptation to corrupt the honesty.

But like everything, these too shall come to pass and either of two things will happen. Everything that needs to be moved up will be moved up and I will need to spend extra for labor, or everything that needs to be moved up will be moved up and I will spend extra for the laborer. :=)